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It's History, It's Poetry

by Detour North

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1.
DEAD 03:23
Welcome to the pharmacy, we got just what you need To mix all of your frustrations with a bit of irony I’ll put on my sarcastic smile and show you how I bleed I’ll make you forget what you think you know about me You’re upset again? Well, you’re not alone I’ve got the Devil on my side, so I have demons of my own And you will never understand what it’s like to miss home But maybe you could if you would just pick up the phone There was a time when you’d give me your word and I could count on you to follow through, ‘cause I deserve it If you are the endgame and I am the start, then I actually hope that somewhere in between I fall apart Call me a loser and that’s exactly what I’ll be ‘Cause I lose everything, from your interest to my keys Call me a loser and that’s exactly what I’ll be Hold on, I’d like to propose a toast To broken promises and broken bones Hiding in your closet under piles of clothes Yeah, but everybody knows I’m a disaster. Hang me from the rafters. Maybe then I’ll finally get: “Happy Ever After” Write my epitaph on the headboard of my bed And hopefully tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up DEAD [Is this what you wanted?] Call me a liar and that’s exactly what I’ll be I’ll lie with DEATH if just to make you fucking scared of me Call me a liar and that’s exactly what I’ll be Growing up, I was afraid of the world And you were the one who always wanted more But while I had monsters under my bed You’ve always had them in yours I guess I wished that I was your monster I guess I’ve just always been your ghost So why am I the one feeling haunted by you? Is this what you wanted?
2.
Blackmail 03:46
Pick me apart by the start of the week and I'm staying in for the weekend 'Cause you're stepping outta line I'm feeling tired and weakened But for now, this empty bed feels fine It's like on your command, I'll make myself a mess With a snap of your fingers, I'm snapping my neck In the hopes it'll render me DEAD or upset But the joke's on you, 'cause You're a terrible detective You don't have a clue Revenge is the only thing that's sweeter than you. So I hope you're bulletproof 'Cause i'm taking shots at you My scars all tell stories about you And you'll write another chapter when I see you again You're just a liar who just craves to be admired, but you know: I've got dirt on you And I'm just a writer who's just super uninspired, but you know: I'll still destroy you So constantly dress yourself in grayscale, just to see how I feel This is me, cutting myself wide open And you should be cautious, acknowledge your mess Because an angry boy's conscience is silent at best You found your way to my head from my chest I didn't invite you in, but since you're here, please excuse the mess So tell me, so tell me In what key does your heart beat? And I'll try to harmonize When these words beat you down. If you're the DEATH of me, then I DIED at sixteen. If you're the DEATH of me, then I DIED at sixteen.
3.
July 03:48
There's a thousand different ways to live But not a single motherfucking reason to exist That's the American dream. That's the American disease. 'Cause you believed everything they told you You bought all the shit they sold you About success and happiness But now the stress and emptiness Encapsulates the way you think The way you dress The way you sleep The way you just want all of this bullshit to end 'Cause it's all just a scam But it's all that I am now I'm just waiting 'till it's all over 'Cause if you ask me, being happy's overrated You found me DEAD in a parking lot In a nightmare I had last month Man, it seems like my subconscious Is dreading going back to all of this Why am awake? It's 3 A.M. These kids are still dancing to shit EDM I don't fit in here I shouldn't have come here I hope my mother forgives me I just broke down in a fucking bathroom at Wendy's™ And frantically called her, and told her: "I'm sorry" I guess this semester just got the best of me You thought you came here to learn You came here to DIE You thought you came here to learn You came here... Last Fall, I watched as all the leaves DIED And I think I DIED a little too 'Cause you know I feel most alive in June and July And, yes, I really still blame New York for making me this way And I know I'll be okay for now I just need a way out.
4.
Autumn Bloom 02:47
You know that you could make Autumn bloom I hate to admit it, I'm falling for you And there's a million reasons I should leave your room But I'm DYING to lie next to you I'm trying to forget everything that you said Please don't tell me you love me, it'll go to my head And the letter you wrote me, I've read and re-read And I know that he's better for you instead You know that you could make Autumn bloom I hate to admit it, I'm falling for you And there's a million reasons I should leave your room But I'm DYING to lie next to you 'Cause your bed is a casket for two Maybe I'm a bitter soul Maybe I'm just cynical But this whole situation's so god damn typical You pulled my walls apart You spun the cobwebs on my heart Took my affection for your collection Took my affection for your collection And your letter, I've re-read And I know he's better For you 'Cause your bed is a casket for two
5.
It's like a midlife crisis already has it in for me I guess all this means is I'll be DEAD by 40 I get so caught up in the future that the present's just a blur I get so caught up in these anecdotes because I am obsessed with words And failure seems to scare me more than DEATH But hey, I think I've got at least a solid fifty bucks to my name So, clearly I'm okay. Yeah, clearly I'm okay. I hate the way that I behave when I'm feeling so worn out Like I've got one foot in the grave and the other in my mouth Is it just me, or does it seem like The world has a hit-list and no one survives? Am I in its crosshairs? I've put in my time. The nihilist in me is closing his eyes If the world went up in flames tonight Maybe then it could finally shed some light on The questions eating me alive like: Are my parents proud? I hate the way that I behave when I'm feeling so worn out Like I've got one foot in the grave and the other in my mouth Because contradictions are what I do well I'm a narcissist who hates himself I'm the king of ego in this town Who's plagued with crippling self-doubt But I'm okay... for now. I said I'm okay... for now. The world has made me feel so small And I'm sure that you can tell this doesn't bother me at all She said, "Are you even sorry? Are you out for blood or glory? What's your story, boy?" Is it too much to ask for both? Blood or glory? Is it too much to ask for both?
6.
Are you having fun now wherever you are? Every party you crash, you know I wish was your car So that maybe you could be as much of a wreck as me But instead you're the DEATH of me I just wish you were DEAD to me I don't care about your new man or what you did with your hair I just hope you're happy, 'cause I know I'm scared I don't want to lose you, and I know that's not fair I've been trying to reach you on a DYING phone That's still more charged than me 'Cause it's been three days ...and I don't think I've slept 'Cause I'm not enough whatever I do I changed my favorite color for you I should have been green, but for years I've been blue 'Cause you always made the whole spectrum about you And I just want to know if we'll ever move past this Does he know that your bedsheets smell like alcohol and sadness? I guess we'll burn that bridge when we get there We'll burn that bridge when we get there I'm a merchant who deals in the misery of Being unknown and having no one And this is urgent, my heart feels like it's blistering 'cause It's still beating for all the years you stole from
7.
I know you think you'll get tired of me But I'll always be the ink in your diary Or under your skin when my lyrics break in like a needle I'm a permanent fixture you'll never get rid of I had that nightmare again where I smother you to DEATH In a hospital bed, then drown in my own sweat I'm not responsible for what goes on in my head And certainly not in yours It doesn't have to be this way But go ahead and turn the lights down, baby I never claimed to be a saint So just keep your voice low The Bible in my closet never offered any guidance I'm only trying to bide time Until we shake the pain away And laugh about our self-destruction It doesn't have to be this way But go ahead and turn the lights down, baby I never claimed to be a saint So just keep your voice low And we'll try to fill a void That we otherwise would never ourselves Avoiding every chance we get to better ourselves Do the people we avoid Become reasons just to keep to ourselves Like secrets we have hidden? So just keep your distance Because everything about this is wrong And it's all gonna end tonight And it's all gonna end tonight Everything about this is wrong And it's all gonna end tonight And I hope to God that it ends tonight Do the people we avoid, avoid us too? I guess I wished that I was your monster I guess I've just always been your ghost.

credits

released July 27, 2018

All songs written & performed by Detour North:
Emmanuel Roldan- Lead Vocals/ Rhythm Guitar
Kem Mastey- Lead Guitar/ Backing Vocals
Anthony Esparza- Bass
Danny Klus- Drums

Produced, Recorded, Mixed, & Mastered by Roye Robley
"Blackmail" Mastered by Kris Crummett
Additional strings performed by Mallory Julian

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